How To Forgive
But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” Mark 11:25 (New Living Translation, NLT)
Unforgiveness can cause a lot of problems for us. It can hinder our prayers, make us bitter, and even can make us sick. So many of us have difficulty forgiving people who have wronged us because we think forgiveness is based on a feeling. That is simply not true.
Forgiveness, just like love, is an act of the will. It is something we choose to do, whether we feel like it or not. Emotions are funny things- they can lie to us, hold us back, and limit us from being everything God intended. We cannot follow our feelings. Let me say that again, we cannot follow our feelings if we want to live a victorious life. We must follow God, and when we do, the right feelings will eventually come.
How do we forgive someone when we feel like punching them in the face? First of all, we ask God for help. He expects us to forgive because He forgives. The Holy Spirit can strengthen and empower us to forgive. Next, we make the decision that we forgive the person who wronged us. At first, you will have to do it by faith, because, like I said, our feelings will try to keep us from doing it. Then we act on our decision by praying for them. Ask God to bless them.
However, I say to you, love your enemy, bless the one who curses you, do something wonderful for the one who hates you, and respond to the very ones who persecute you by praying for them. Matthew 5:44 (The Passion Translation, TPT)
We resist asking God to bless our enemies because we think it means we are asking God to reward them for being bad to us. But the blessing is expressed in many ways. When we pray for God to bless them, we are releasing God to touch their hearts, draw them to Himself, and as a result they may end up being saved and changed. It’s not like we are asking for someone who abused us to win a million dollars. God knows just how to get each person’s attention and when we pray for God to bless them, He is wise enough to do what is best for them and us.
Praying for those we are forgiving makes our hearts si=ofter and releases our own pain. It is hard to harbor a grudge and bitterness when we continually pray for someone.
Keep in mind, forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to let them back in your life. Depending on the situation, God may not want you to expose yourself to them ever again. In that case, pray for them but keep your distance. In other situations, God may open a door for reconciliation. Let the Lord lead you and use wisdom.
Forgiveness is a process. As I stated, it is an act of faith and an act of the will. It will require us to lean on the strength of God, but in the end, we will be free to enjoy life without the chains of unforgiveness wrapped around our hearts.
