A Deeper Word

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Communicate, Don't Detonate

Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Ephesians 4:15 (New International Version, NIV)

Detonate, according to Dictionary.com means to explode with suddenness and violence. How many times have you suppressed your true feelings and desires, only to allow your emotions to overflow and explode later? Then, your emotional outburst causes great harm and damage to valued relationships and leaves all of you wondering what happened.

When we suppress our feelings, they don’t go away. Instead, they build up and come back later with great force. We must learn to express our true feelings and to manage our emotions in a healthy way. It is true that sometimes we have to step away from someone in order to calm down and process something that has been said so we don’t express our opinion or what we know to be true in a harsh, harmful manner. We have to refuse to be offended and sometimes it takes time for us to take authority over our emotions. However, we must not allow unresolved issues to fester and grow within us.

One of the best ways to calm ourselves down is to pray in the Holy Spirit. It strengthens us in the inner man and allows our spirit to dominate our emotions and flesh. And we need to take authority over the enemy and the spirit of strife. Then, we can go back and express ourselves in a way that honors God and does not cause hurt to others.

Sometimes it seems easier to let things slide and not address them, but that does not usually work, especially with something that comes up repeatedly. It is important that we address problems or conflicts with others so they can be resolved. Unresolved conflict will surely come back later and blow up in our faces.

If there is something that you simply cannot address to someone’s face, maybe because they are not ready for the truth or because you are not in a position to speak to that person truthfully, then take it to God. After all, the Bible does tell us that love covers a multitude of sin (I Peter 4:8). Tell God what you are feeling and release the pent-up emotions to Him. This is a great way to stay emotionally healthy and avoid detonating. Communicating to the Lord allows you let go of the pressure and emotional stress within you and cast your cares on Him.

Don’t allow unreleased hurts, offenses, and feelings to build up. Communicate them with love and defuse the time bomb within. Communicate, don’t detonate!